PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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