I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
