Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
