Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
