Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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