I CAN MOONWALK!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
