kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
