There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
