he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
