im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
