I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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