wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
