Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
