Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
