quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
