when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize