dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
