Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize