i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
