What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
