Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize