I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize