If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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