For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
