STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
