That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
