I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm really busy with my period
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