Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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