I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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