if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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