Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
