In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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