I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
