Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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