you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
