Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
