I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
