Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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