and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
