it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
