is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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