the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
