pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Randomize
