my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
