So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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