It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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