At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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