Small penises have feelings too.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
