i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we're making bets on your personal life
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
