He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
