so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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