Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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