nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
