he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
