I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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